Wednesday's Beta: 16.3
Today's Beta: 41.3
I did not expect to see anything with a positive result. And after the last heartbreak, I refuse to believe in anything under 100, I've been let down too many times. But with that said, the number more than doubled and my coordinator is quite happy with the initial outcome. She pointed out right away that on our last IVF cycle the first two betas were 7 & 13, there is improvement. But am I excited yet? ...no. I think I'm more frustrated than anything knowing we're back in this wiating game and there's nothing we can do but just try and hang on. Our next draw will be Monday, July 18th.
Phil on the other hand is excited. Throughout this whole cycle, before/during/after he's communicated a really good feeling about it working out this time. Call it a defense mechanism I guess, but I'm just really scared to get my hopes up depending on such early results. I'm grateful one of us is so positive and hopeful.
I should be smiling today, but right now for me it's just 'eh'. Its hard believing in low betas. Also, I'm thinking of how I'll continue to maintain in privacy. This takes me into an interesting situation this weekend, attending Happy Camp S.O.B.E.R. (I know...its just not right - lol). I'll bring cranberry/vodka and make sure no one watches as I pretend to mix. And its a no-no for hot springs, so I'll have to conveniently forget my swimsuit at home. Nurse told me I'm allowed to soak my feet, but that's it. Thankfully I'm just going up one night and it shouldn't be too hard to pull off. The tough part of course is being with my best friend for a total of 6+ hours in the car round trip and not being able to say anything. Thankfully she knows the struggles we've been through and will totally understand once I do let her in on this secret.
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